カテゴリ:吐嘲( 24 )
邪教檢查表
邪教檢查表

邪教檢查表
編譯:李怡志

資料來源:德國巴伐利亞政府青少年局

承諾

只要我參加這個組織或組織的特定課程,他們就保證我可以獲得愛情、財富、幸運、成功、健康、靈性、啟發、救贖或解脫。
靠著組織的協助,我不但可以解決所有的問題,甚至可以改變全世界。我會成為一個全新、更好的人,我的生命會徹底改變。
他們會告訴我,這個組織恰巧就是那個能夠協助我達成所有願望的組織。
針對所有困難的人生問題,這個組織都有簡單的解答。
雖然我一直覺得這個組織有一種無法言喻的吸引力,但我確定,我自己能夠做出正確的決定。


組織架構

組織中的成員對我的超級親切,就像我之前一直希望別人如何對待我一樣,而且最少會有一個成員一直出現在我身邊。
組織成員間有很強的凝聚力,他們有時候會使用某種只有這個組織才懂的語言、術語與外界區隔,甚至組織成員還會獲得新的名字。
組織成員都覺得自己是菁英,是一個新時代的先驅者。只有這個組織的成員,才能躲過即將到來的危難。
小孩與青少年在這個組織的教義中具有特殊的意義與功能。
組織的利益優先於個人的利益。我必須為組織完成許多工作,例如參加課程、招募成員、賣書等等,而個人的生存保障反而不那麼重要。
為了展現我對組織或教主的忠誠及信仰,教主的命令即便違反法令,我也要去做。


方法

彷彿只有這個組織才能指引我繼續前進的道路,雖然他們的方法無法透過科學或理性來解釋。
在這個組織中會發生的事情很難說得清楚,如果想要了解,就得快點加入,然後親身體會。
為了解決我的問題或者獲得解脫,我得採用一些不尋常的方法。我得透過很神祕的宗教或心理演練,才能夠達到某些特殊的精神狀態(狂喜、鎮定、增強的感官刺激、特殊的靈性經驗)。
我必須調整我的生活,盡可能挪出所有的時間奉獻給組織。而不論是質疑我參加這個組織的人,抑或是我的家人、朋友,都必須斷絕所有關係,以免他們阻撓了我的修行。
不論是針對飲食、衣著、清潔衛生、男女關係或者性行為,這個組織都有獨特的規定或儀式,甚至可以管到一天的所有作息。
不論是一對一聊天或是在組織活動中,我發現每個成員對於生命都有一模一樣的觀點,甚至連描述的用語都相同,讓我偶爾不禁懷疑,這些人是不是被洗腦了。


唯一的領導者

組織中會有一位領導者,他可能是因為特殊的經驗、天賦、啟發或神祕力量,所以對於世界與人類擁有特殊的知識或能力,也因為他的特殊性,不能對領導者保持存疑、不能批評、也不可以亂問他的過去。
對批評的反應
如果有人對組織發表的負面的言論,都會被當成無知或敵意的表現。畢竟這個組織是沒有什麼可被批評的地方。
如果我在組織中沒有獲得當初承諾的成果,都是我的不對。要不是我沒有完全按照規矩來,否則就是我太懶惰,或不夠堅信。
當我想要退出時,突然會承受十分龐大的壓力,或者透過其他方式,讓我覺得非留下來不可。

(符合程度越高,越要小心)



Just for yours and mine information

try to put some clubs, cults, pyramid schemes... even religions in there, wow... they all fit!!
[PR]
by yao-san | 2010-05-30 23:31 | 吐嘲
龜笑鱉無尾
無意間在網上看到 iphone 的中文手寫認識系統十分強大,
不會寫「龜」沒關係,畫隻烏龜就得了。

因此,我就拿了IME的手寫辨別程式玩玩。

結果如下。



奇怪,我的烏龜比較寫實吧,明明有尾巴,為什麼沒出現個「龜」字。
反倒是,倒數第二個字,是個很複雜的「」字...

罷了,反正那「龞中有龜」我認了。
[PR]
by yao-san | 2010-05-09 18:22 | 吐嘲
台灣霉體 and "citation needed"
Got to love wikipedia's "citation needed" thingy.

南韓海軍沈船了,
頭條旁邊就是"朱元璋是韓國人"的新聞...039.gif

這新聞內容看過之後實在不知道該從哪裡開始修正會比較好,
編輯長,你認為刊登這種*^*好嗎?
南北韓可能要開戰,貴公司卻發布這種無關緊要的消息。

真的要跟這種"網友"惡搞的"新聞"認真實在太浪費時間與生命的,
這時 wikipedia 的 citation needed 只能說是婊人神器。



and just in case you are wondering, here are all 4 of 中央日報關於朱元璋的報導,沒有一篇提到爛頭皮是高麗人

喔,對了...之前我查中文wiki 時去找了某樣東西的 citation...結果 citation 是假的,文章中沒有他講的東西..orz

寫假新聞製造種族紛爭的人很可惡,
散佈假新聞愚弄人民的媒體也很可惡,
只會被媒體耍,把假新聞照單全收的人民很可憐,
但可憐之人必有可恨之處,為甚麼人民不能抵制這些早該被市場淘汰的媒體?

而且最後這篇報導是從中國出來的...can it be more obvious than this?
政治意圖明顯到不行。天災人禍?創個全民公敵轉移眾人的怨氣與注意力最簡單。

(yeah, I have seen grammar mistakes, just ignore them please. I didn't save the original photoshop file)

===========================================

this article is kind of cute in comparison XD



don't ask me about the authenticity, I really have no idea on this one :P

but hey, i want to be a princess too XD
[PR]
by yao-san | 2010-03-28 00:00 | 吐嘲
YVR on the Vancouver Sun now
Furor in Taiwan after woman abruptly turned back from YVR

Ottawa, Taipei officials wade in to discuss incident with airport border security agents


It has finally made it's way to the Vancouver Sun. I like most of the comments at the end of this article. A random (well, not that random) quote from the comments.


As a Canadian citizen and as someone who travels internationally several times per year I have never had more trouble with customs agents than in my own country. Their lack of understanding of other cultures, why people leave Canada for visits, what constitutes "gifts" or "souvenirs" is painfully naive. I've brought cookware back myself after taking a cooking class abroad.


Apparently, most Vancouverites think our custom officers are either abusing their POWER which is GIVEN to them to protect our nation, not EARNED (so stop acting like you own me), or they are just simply too damn stupid to do their job right. In either case, they are incompetent to serve the country.

This is just a spark, which I am hoping to turn into a wild fire that burns across the entire nation. May this indecent be the outset of waves after waves of reformation for our boarder control and the training of competent custom officials (not Gestapos).
[PR]
by yao-san | 2010-03-21 01:29 | 吐嘲
廣告真實版 加海關刁難台婦 外交部討公道 - 談加拿大海關
最近這篇新聞在台灣搞得沸沸揚揚的,剛好我是在地的,就順便提一下。

來,先看這篇我覺得是為了增加效果被加油添醋亂的報導

「妳丈夫每個月薪水只有十幾萬,為什麼妳能花五萬多元台幣買機票?」


呃...不是說她不會說英文,那怎麼還聽得懂?
而且你當加拿大全民挖石油呀?
每個月台幣十幾萬等於加幣4000以上,
這不是一般薪水階級的水準耶。
你面前那個稅金小偷可能都沒有領那麼多。
加拿大海關再腦殘也不會講這種沒有邏輯的話吧。

再者,加拿大海關是出了名的機車和欺善怕惡,
但他機車基本上都是對自己的人民機車。

日本海關不用說殺必死超棒,美國也滿臉笑容(至少我運氣好碰到的還OK),連中國大陸身穿解放軍軍服看起來抽屜中藏有AK-47隨時可以把像我這種滿口"分裂祖國神聖領土"的不良份子就地正法的海關對我都還滿和善的。(當時背景天空有 Su-27 在飛)

YVR(溫哥華機場)的海關就一付死人臉,共產主義國營公社店員的情,
把每個人都當成嫌疑犯對待。
所以這次YVR的海關被炮我心裡其實滿爽的。

可是這些海關一般都是對本地人服務態度欠佳,
對外國觀光客他們心裡還是會想「有肥羊送錢來了」

所以李姓婦人絕對作了些很愚蠢的事或講了很多笨話才被遣返。
而且以台灣人不少人有的那種隨便不合作,不講理又在那邊盧的個性,
老實說,不意外。

至於台灣某鄉民喜歡聚集的網站上的留言呢...看了不禁叫人懷疑台灣的價值觀到底怎麼了?連基本常識都沒有。
時光倒回100年,給他們每人綁個辮子說他們是義和團我都相信。


這些洋鬼子海關.......唉...
擺明了就是變態+歧視...


請問不讓人跳機,彽下的工作誰要做?
負擔? 我看美洲的城市都是偷渡客蓋出來的吧

建議台灣海關對持加拿大政府核發簽證之旅客比照辦理
此為國際公認的平等互惠原則
外交部也可以停止核發加拿大人入境簽證了

我等著看你們這些白人還能囂張多久..

建議台灣海關依樣玩個一次!
看哪個加拿大老女人倒霉!


其實要把加拿大人轟回去很簡單
依照入出國及移民法規定
栽他個[染有傳染性強大之性病]就OK了
什麼~沒有病徵?
潛伏期啊


整段看下來,誰歧視誰呀?
YVR裡有個海關我也看他超級不順眼,
偏偏前兩次回去都排到他。
是沒有被叫到小房間,
可是問了一堆問題。
很多都是那種好像要看回答人表情來鑑定有沒有說謊的那種。
所以說,答案不重要。
可是他就一副那種很跩外加「齁,你一定在說謊,但我冰雪聰明一定可以把你抓出來」的表情。
當他問我帶了甚麼東西回來後,我回答了新手機。

「How much?」

「umm....NTD 4700, so its about CAD140-ish」 (我回去時加幣爆高 1:32 以上)

然後我就看那老兄在我的 declaration card 上面填我買了 CAN$200 的手機。
他喵的 凸 !! 當著我的面說我說謊就是了!!?

最後耗了很久放生放行之後他勉強擠出一句"welcome back to Canada"
我臉臭到給他一個白眼就走了。

不過我去繳那隻手機的稅金時櫃台的小姐就好很多。

「她問我手機是CAD$200嗎?」

「不是,那個人亂寫!!手機$140」(是的,我真得就這樣講)

不知道是她服務態度很好還是她看我滿臉大便,
很爽快就幫我改了。
所以我用 interac 納了 $5 還是 $10 的稅....對!!就只有這樣。

下次可不可以建議YVR乾脆在海關前面放個收費箱,
我只要投$10進去就不要浪費我時間,
跟我講 "welcome home" 蓋個章就讓我滾蛋好不好。

這件事我在兩年半後回想都有想要吊死那個海關的衝動。

刁難我的那個海關是白人男性,大約30,金髮或dark/dirty blond。

我第一次遇到他時是剛畢業旅行回來

Him031.gif: "where did you go"
Me032.gif: "Japan and Taiwan"
H: "did you go alone?"
M: "No, I went with my friend"
H: "Why didn't you come to me together"
M: "(Are you stupid?) We have different last name, different address, I don't this it is necessary for us to come together"
H: "Is he in this line?"
M: "No"
H: "Why not?"
M: "(OMG), you know, after a month being together, we are tired, we need our own space!"
H: "Where is he?"
M: "ummmm......(are you retarded?) The other line?"
H: "Point him out to me"
M: "(Now, you want me to look like a retard just like you)...[look around] Nope, can't see him, he must have gone to pick up the luggage or something (so please stopping wasting our time).

以上是我第一次跟這位海關的見面經過。

嗯,保佑今年7月不會再見到他

btw, regarding to 廣告真實版

1. 這個廣告拍得很爛,重複的灑爛狗血,裡面的老母親像瘋婆子
2. 這廣告本來就是根據真實故事改編
[PR]
by yao-san | 2010-03-19 18:55 | 吐嘲
Attitude...? really?
I am pretty sure most of you have seem the following "attitude inspiring" story via a forwarded email of some sort, but what it failed to tell you is that there is more to this story. I found a sequel to this story. Well, please take a look.

Let's start with the Chinese version first...

知 識 96 努 力 98 態 度 100

朋 友 寄 來 一 段 話 , 與 各 位 分 享 一 下
記 得 一 個 有 趣 的 比 喻 這 麼 說 ──
如 果 將 字 母 A 到 Z 分 別 編 上 1 到 26 的 分 數 , (A=1, B=2, ..., Z=26)
你 的 知 識 (KNOWLEDGE) 得 到 96 分 (11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5=96)
你 的 努 力 (HARDWORK) 也 只 得 到 98 分 (8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11=98)
你 的 態 度 (ATTITUDE) 才 是 左 右 你 生 命 的 全 部 (1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5=100)


And to just go over the top you need,

B -U -L -L -S -H-I -T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

A-S -S -K -I -C-K -I -N-G
1+19+19+11+9+3+11+9+14+7 = 103%

But wait. Just look how far ass KISSING will take you,

A-S -S -K -I -S-S -I -N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7= 118%


So, we can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while "HARD WORK"
and "KNOWLEDGE" will get you close, and "ATTITUDE" will get you there...
it really is the "BULLSHIT", "ASS KICKING", and "ASS KISSING" that will put you over the
top.



Welcome to the real world 017.gif
[PR]
by yao-san | 2010-03-08 03:10 | 吐嘲
今日新聞 - 有天理
剛剛瞄到這新聞



很好,我把你打到流產絕對不是甚麼傷害罪,
是非法墮胎罪。

然後台灣記者不但沒邏輯,連最基本的思考能力都沒了。
每次新聞最後都不忘自曝其短寫些小學生趕暑假作業等級的感想。

甚麼一時衝動而砍人/好奇而走私軍火/年輕氣甚才撞死5人後逃逸,而斷送自己美好前程那種小學生都覺得很蠢的話。(右鉤拳羅博士福助杯杯的兒子把人家16女兒玩到大肚子了就叫英雄出少年,虎父無犬子...015.gif)

所以我 google 了一下寫這篇新聞的記者大名,
沒想到,第一個跳出來竟然是!!?



031.gif071.gif

我一直以為台灣的記者是警察,
是法官,
是法律,
是權力,
是正義,
是流氓
是衝鋒陷陣的尖兵,
可到常人不可及之處...
不過好像而沒到超人等級,被砸到還是會受傷的...


[PR]
by yao-san | 2010-03-07 00:32 | 吐嘲
Canadian News: Court sees video of sex-for-favours exchange
My opinion on this? just shoot the f#cking piece of sh!t.

Court sees video of sex-for-favours exchange

Updated: Tue Feb. 23 2010 3:52:38 PM

ctvtoronto.ca

A judge spent Tuesday looking at covertly-shot video of an immigration judge telling a Korean claimant that he might approve her case if she agrees to a sexual relationship with him.

"Let me see what I can do. I'm going to work on it. I really want to be friends with you," Steven Ellis is heard saying on the tape to Ji-Hye Kim, then 25, on Sept. 26, 2006.

He went on to say that his marriage was terrible and that he needed a girlfriend.

But he also sought discretion from Kim, saying she could also get in trouble -- and invited her to meet him in the coming days for a "celebration" of his approval of her claim.

It was his third unofficial meeting with Kim since July.

Unbeknownst to Ellis, Kim's boyfriend (now husband) Brad Tripp was videotaping the encounter in a downtown Toronto Starbucks. Kim herself was wearing an audio recording device.

The tapes of the encounter were given to both CTV News and the police.

Ellis, who served two terms on the old metro city council, became an Immigration and Refugee Board judge in 2000, having been appointed by the federal Liberal government of the day.

The chair of the Immigration Appeal Board suspended him immediately from the $120,000-per-year position and banned him from IRB property upon hearing the allegations.

Ellis faces the following charges:

breach of trust (Criminal Code)
knowingly making or issuing a false document or statement, or accepting or agreeing to accept a bribe or other benefit in respect to a refugee application (Immigration and Refugee Protection Act)
The 50-year-old has pleaded not guilty. His trial is in its second day.


With files from The Canadian Press


$120,000 a year for what....can someone remind me again? Having sex with immigration applicants?
I think someone just soiled the (already questionable) judicial system, and is a complete disgrace to Canada. Shouldn't we do something about this?

Immigration judges and the custom officials (in the airport/at the boarder...yeah, I know, Not all of them are bad people, BUT MANY of them are purely jerks!!!) are the face of Canada, they are the very first people to greet foreigners and potential future Canadians. "Hey, I can improve your chance if you have sex with me. After all, I am a CANADIAN immigration JUDGE, I OWN the country, I OWN the rules" What to wonderful way to introduce Canada to the world EH~?

Since a judge couldn't even do his job right, maybe we could screw up on the trail process. Forget it, let's just skip the trial process altogether and prepare the death squad for the corrupted judge.

Wait! I know, we can put him, the RCMP officers criminals who taserred 72 year-old hear diseased man and the 4 Vancouver Police Department officers who batonned Dziekański to the death in a battle royal, to the death of course. The RCMP guys can have taser gun and batons. And since the ex-judge (now criminal... there is a God afterall) is already 50 years old, and probably is no match to the younger and more barbaric macho murderers, we should give him some handicap advantage. He can carry a 9mm pistol with 1 bullet and a machete. That will work. They will fight to the last man standing, and we will feed the last man standing to the polar bears (since they are on the edge of extinction, we better feed them). What a show!! We can put this on pay-per-view. This is going to be 10 times better than the movie Gladiator!!!
[PR]
by yao-san | 2010-02-24 22:40 | 吐嘲
台灣霉體: 零下47℃! 全球低溫新紀錄 !?


每次看台灣媒體,智力都會下降。
零下47℃! 全球低溫新紀錄!!? 寫這篇新聞稿的人有沒有點常識呀?

The coldest natural temperature ever recorded on Earth was −89.2 °C (−129 °F; 184 K) at the Russian Vostok Station in Antarctica July 21, 1983

我小學時讀的科學漫畫書裡面的舊紀錄是南極也有個負70~80度左右。
(話說這漫畫書的出版商就是中視還是華視的...翻譯日本的漫畫百科,當年很流行恐龍之類的)

-47℃ !? It could be the historic record for North Dakota (I am too lazy to check), but coldest temperature ever recorded on Earth!!? Not even close. It can easily get below -30℃ in Northwest territory or Nuv....ummm..... how to spell it... Nunavut(?), -47℃ doesn't even look like a hard record to break in Canada.


真的最近有在想開一個新的 BLOG,
內容就是每天婊台灣霉體就好了。

題材多到用不完。
今天是一時興起才打這篇,不然幾乎每天都有好幾篇可以婊的新聞。

我是講真的,真的有在考慮開這樣的BLOG。 XD

還有,Yahoo kimo 下的那幾個網友評分欄,
我建議改成這個。



嗯...這篇我大概會投"笑掉大牙"或"及早轉行" :P
[PR]
by yao-san | 2010-01-09 01:16 | 吐嘲
good bye firefox
Hello google chrome

yes, just 1 hour ago, i dumped firefox 3.5... I couldn't even type properly, it would lag even for typing!!?

and believe it or not, IE actually runs smoother with all the flash running than firefox turning off all the flash crap.

I think firefox 3.5 is a total failure, at least it does not work on 64-bit OS at all.


另外,我發現中文的韓國電影介紹以及人名翻譯可以爛到一種不可思議的境界,
指鹿為馬是甚麼大家應該懂,
好,翻譯根本就是指鹿為馬,完全不一樣的字都敢拿出來。

比如說,像我這種韓文能力 = 0.000001 的人都知道韓國的幾個大姓(他們也只有幾個姓而已)
kim = 金, park = 朴, kang = 姜
可以把"姜"翻成"朴"我只能問"翻譯連最基本的 copy/paste 都不會嗎?"
[PR]
by yao-san | 2009-11-25 03:08 | 吐嘲


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